I’ve been receiving junk through the post for ages now. I don’t get much junk snail mail so that doesn’t bother me as much as junk e-mail (and let’s face it, getting junk from credit card companies is less embarrassing than getting junk from penis-extension drug companies). I used to use their links or reply to unsubscribe from their mailing list but since taking that action I didn’t see any significant change in bulk so gave up doing it and I’m sure some of those companies are infringing fair use laws by providing a broken link to unsubscribe from their list. Then again, of the links that do work, I really do wonder if those companies are genuinely honouring the recipient’s wish to be taken off the list. My hypothesis is that the unsubscribe form that provide a link to is just a crafty tool for removing you from one mailing list and registering you on another.

The other day I gasped when I received 12 junk e-mails overnight (some of you inundated with about a 100 a day are probably coughing the word “wimp” right about now) and the zero tolerance area of my brain must have simultaneously had a surge of brainpower because I decided that the buck stopped there. I closed my eyes and mouthed a silent incantation to the Voodoo God of Shit to rain fire on those disreputable bastage e-mail list companies, or failing that, just torch their hardware so that my mailing details would go up in smoke, literally.

You should be careful what you wish for, especially when it comes to the Voodoo God of Shit because he is well known for just laying the smack down on whatever he feels like. This time he must have hit the wrong type of mailing company because I found out on the news that since yesterday the postal workers throughout most of London went on strike. That explained why I hadn’t received any post or my online-ordered CDs through the post. It seems that going on strike is about the only way to make your absence and importance in the community apparent. When the firemen went on strike last year, everyone realised how much of a pillar they were in our community when fires ravaged and the only choice the government had was to bring out of retirement a model of fire engine that had been gathering dust since the 1950s.

The best example I can think of for striking is in Greece where people in high schools go on strike. No, I’m not talking about the teachers. I’m talking about the students! Sometimes the children will go on strike, padlocking the school gates and camping in school. This seems a bit redundant, especially if the students are striking because of a bad educational system. But I must admit, if you’re getting a bad education, there is a bizarre logic in going on strike (the teachers must agree with that since they usually join the students in the strike). Getting no education is better than getting bad education, right? Well, yes, only if they’re teaching you crap. And it seems most kids think that anyway.

So striking does get affirmative action, but that doesn’t solve the problem of the junk e-mail that keeps arriving in my inbox. I need a new and more reliable Voodoo God to carry out my ill wishes.