“All Along the Watchtower” by Jimi Hendrix… “”There must be some kind of way out of here,” said the joker to the thief. There’s too much confusion. I can’t get no relief…”

Finally a slot opened up in the schedule to foray into the cinema and catch a duo of colon-ated flicks: Matrix: Revolutions and Kill Bill: Volume 1. For those of you yelling “Double bill!” please bear with me whilst I fetch a golden star for pun-slinging and stick it to the wall chart next to your name. What did I think? Both movies set out what they intended to do. One to cap off a trilogy littered with religious references, the other to kick off a 2 volume story of a lady with a penchant for dishes served cold. I was neither expecting tears of woe nor tears of woah, so the films and I came to a compromise somewhere in the middle. I was impressed with the CGI Zion mech fight scenes in Matrix. The high points in Kill Bill were all the scenes with the famous Sonny Chiba playing the equally famous ninja Hattori Hanzo as a retired sushi chef. Fantastic.

From what I’ve been hearing, I probably fall into the lower percentage of the two opposing groups that contest the quality of Matrix: Revolutions. I liked it, even moreso than the second but probably not as much as the first. The dialogue was cheesy in parts but I can’t deny that the emotion was running around the auditorium in parts. I think I’m turning into a real pedantic sod too as I noticed Neo’s spinal discs disappearing in one scene and reappearing in the next. This bothersome astuteness repeated itself in Kill Bill where the bullets in slow motion sequences were not spinning through the air (Ballistics dictate that bullets propel themselves through the air via spinning, caused by the rifling of the gun barrel). I also don’t remember airport security ever being so relaxed that one could carry a samurai sword onto a plane like it was a handbag! There are towns in the USA where people are obliged to own a gun (and carry them). There should be towns in Japan where it is illegal to not carry a sword on your person. I’ve always preferred actions scenes with swords and melee weapons in films and besides being more stylish, the handling of such a weapon relies very much on its wielder’s skill and grace. Plus there’s something about carrying swords around like an Eastern cowboy that makes me put on a silly smile. That and the images of drunks shouting “Danger always strikes when everything seems fine. I will vanquish you with my blade!” outside bars at night.

Quote of the day: “Those of you lucky enough to have your lives take them with you! However, leave the limbs you’ve lost. They belong to me now.” - Uma Thurman’s character, The Bride, in Kill Bill.