From watching Daisy Daisy I’ve just found out about a technique that professional dog handlers use to make their dogs go to the loo on command before they go on show (so that they don’t suddenly cock their leg and pee all over a judge). The technique is called “matching” and involves inserting a matchstick (unlit) into the dog’s backside. This will make a dog immediately want to go to the loo. This will also make a dog your partner in crime when you’re at your loathsome ex-partner’s house.