“Language of Fools” by Tom McRae… “I cannot use this language of fools to communicate with you. The things that you say to mark the time of the day are calculated to bemuse… Won’t you hide me, won’t you hold my life? Let me have this time and lie here while I close my eyes. Hold me through this night…”

Time and tide wait for no man. The sun rises in the east. The sky is blue.

Some things are obvious, but some things will evade your detection for years at a time. I’ve been alive for nearly 2 and a half decades but I only noticed something recently about life’s greatest enigma. Take a moment now to think back to a time you fell for someone. Go ahead. Close your eyes and cast your mind back to the precise moment you realised you had more than just simple feelings for them. Correct me if I’m wrong, but it happened in a specific order, much like as follows. You used to sit alone, thinking about them and all the great features they encompassed. You would sit daydreaming, reminiscing about all those alluring qualities they had, the number of which you would happily count on your fingers all day. You’re able to see somewhat clearly through a haze how their attributes compound you as a person and make you feel as a complete entity should. Then you might have sighed, said their name under your breath and suddenly the warmth you were feeling inside all made sense. But when exactly did all this take place?

It usually takes place not too long after you’d been in contact with them and happens when you begin to recall specific moments in their company. These moments may be fragments of a good conversation you had with them, perhaps an exchange that took place during a date. Yes, did you notice how you always fall for that person in their absence? Strange, but from what I’ve observed it seems to be the case nearly 100% of the time, which makes me unsure if it’s even possible to truly fall for someone while they’re still there in front of you. It’s like your senses are tuned in and highly receptive in their presence, drawing in every inch of their movement and recording every syllable of their verse. And in their absence, your mind cannot help but search for answers in the instilled giddiness and drift into introspection. In times of silence or loneliness your mind will often retrace the steps back to the last time you felt genuine warmth inside, which incidentally leads your mind back to the thoughts of that person. The fall only seems to happen when these thoughts are brought to light and given a chance to sink in. The fall always happens when one reflects and goes searching for it within. That is the legend of the fall.

It is a fact that the mind does not like to remain in a state of confusion. The mind automatically always searches for familiar patterns and answers so it can escape from any entropy it may encounter. When confused, your mind will search for the first acceptable answer to restore your state of comfort. This is the defense mechanism we are pre-wired with, which help us to instinctively overcome obstacles and adversaries.

These are the 2 things that a person needs to carry on in life: answers and love. But what happens when you’re confused and love is the answer? Does this then mean that love is just an easy way out for our minds? Is love an illusion we conjure up in our psyche to create a sense of purpose and order? Is love really just a batch of chemicals that delude us? I honestly don’t think I’ll ever know the answers to those questions, but I do know one thing. Love is not something that finds us; it is something that we find by ourselves. It is a state we bring unto ourselves and one that is catalysed by absence. Absence is the sunlight that brings the heart to bloom. Absence is that which makes the heart grow fonder.